Grace (Eventually)

I was late to reading Anne Lamott. I had twelve years of religious schooling and was active in my church--I sang in the choir, prepared the vestments for the services and attending services during some seasons on a daily basis. But even then I struggled with belief--religion, for me, was about doing good or for being a force for good in the world. I had a very difficult time accepting and understanding faith.

I knew of Anne Lamott as a believer and shied away from her books for that reason. I enjoy books about religion, but they tend to be about history, or theology or the politics of religion, but I avoid books written by believers about their beliefs.

Lamott is a believer but she is also a luminous writer and that is what drew me to her. Her chapters are short, like meditations, and they show someone grappling with life and with her faith--that is not quite right, she has accepted her faith and is strong in it, but wonders sometimes why her faith does not make things better in her life and in the world.

She confirms her faith through family, what we used to call good works and hiking and enjoying nature and those are things that I can understand even if I can't really understand faith. But perhaps it is that she accepts faith on her own terms and not other people's terms and that shows me that I may be a believer but in only in my own way.